I Corinthians 7:1  Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6  But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

The Bible is the only “counselling” manual we need. God knows the heart of man. He knows every thought and every action of man. He addressed every need that man will ever have. What is missing is man’s willingness to receive God’s counsel. Pride is a wicked thing. Every person has some of this wicked thing in him. Every person needs to acknowledge this sin and if saved confess it as sin and ask God to continue to impress upon us the need for true humility.
I Corinthians 7 is very helpful for us as people, with regard to personal relationships. It is something I do not remember hearing any clear preaching on until I was in Bible School. At that time I was a married man with 3 children. It is never too late to be challenged with the truth. The heart of man also needs to be willing to receive the truth.
In verse 1 Paul continued to deal with the matter he was first led to address in chapter 5. Here we are told that the saints had written to Paul about these matters. Paul was directed by God to declare that is is good for a man not to touch a woman. The following verses will give us the Biblical understanding for this statement. The wise will consider the context carefully. God loves us and wants us to know His peace and blessing.
In verse 2 we see the very real danger of fornication. Again we see that God knows just how weak we are. Fornication is sin. God is able to keep His child free from sin. It is when we yield to the lust of the flesh that we sin. Of course we are born in sin and we commit sin due to our sin nature. This is not an excuse, but a fact.
Paul was writing to saints, and saints need to be reminded of the importance of moral purity. Moral purity is founded in the new birth. The whole ‘dating scene’ is contrary to the will of God. This is something that God impressed upon me some years back. Biblical courtship is the proper way of approaching marriage.
God knows the disastrous effects of sin and He gave Paul words of wisdom for us all. God instituted marriage. He created Adam and Eve and brought them together for companionship and also for multiplication. God did not create man so he could disappear.
Marriage is God’s design. It is intended for one man and one woman for life. God has never changed that design. Divorce after marriage has never been God’s design. Betrothal or espousal are Biblical terms that speaks of the time prior to marriage. It is a much stronger term than our ‘engagement’. Of course less and less people even bother with engagement these days.
God’s commands here are first of all directed to those who are saved. The words spoken here are right for all people.
God’s general design for man is to get married. Procreation is God’s design. Procreation is designed to take place after the marriage. It used to be a shame for a woman to be pregnant before being married. Now it is a mark of pride for many. It has been normalized in society.
God stated here that every man should have “his own wife”. Every woman should also “have her own husband”. The promiscuous lifestyle of so many is not God’s design. The depravity of man is clearly demonstrated in the promiscuity of man. Man was created separate from animals. Animals live differently than people do. Ungodly people can behave worse than animals. In Genesis 4, Lamech was the first polygamist. Many of the kings of Israel were polygamists. They copied the ways of the ungodly. It has never been God’s design for a man to have more than one wife at the same time. It has never been God’s design for a woman to have more than one husband at the same time. Paul will address the matter of the death of a spouse and a second marriage in such a case.
In verse 3 and on, God gave instructions on how a godly marriage works. The husband and wife have an intimate relationship that is designed to be unique to the married couple. There is a place and a time for such things.
God’s design for marriage is designed to be a blessing.
In verse 4 we are reminded that the intimacy in the marriage is not a tool for punishment. The relationship in a marriage is to be such that there is that due benevolence. This is why it is so important to be saved first before marriage. There will be differences to be worked out in a marriage. The Bible teaches the need for submission to God first of all and then to one another in the Biblical manner. The husband is the head of the wife, but he must be under the headship of Christ. A godly husband will not abuse his wife. A godly wife will submit to her husband.
In verse 5 we are reminded not to defraud one another in the marriage. Fasting and prayer is brought into the teaching here.
We know from God’s Word that fasting and prayer are important aspects of the Christian life. We need to learn more of God and through these means we can draw closer to Him and be more effective in our walk with Him.
A godly couple will understand the importance of this and will have respect for one another in this important matter. A godly husband will be blessed with a wife who draws closer to God. A godly wife will be blessed with a husband who draws closer to God.
The danger to be avoided is to allow Satan to break down a marriage. He is a destroyer. He will do whatever he can to attack God’s institutions. The married couple does not have a legitimate reason for immorality, but the weakness of the husband and wife are revealed here. A good and godly marriage will be able to avoid yielding to the attacks of the devil.
Verse 6 is a verse that is too often misunderstood as a means of dismissing what the apostle Paul had to say here. Some believe that Paul was simply expressing his opinion here and that it was not actually God’s Word.
God directed Paul to write these words. God is reminding us that marriage is not a command of God. By that we mean that God does not command every man or woman to get married. Jesus spoke of that in Matthew 19. There were eunuchs at that time who chose not to get married. That does not mean they lusted after a person but never married. It does not mean they ‘slept around’ but never married. It means they had no desire and no need for the intimacy that is involved in a marriage.
The general plan of God is for a man or a woman to marry. It is not a sin to remain single if so led by the Lord.
Paul will go on and speak further on this matter as well. Biblical relationships are important. The ungodly make a mess of what God designed. The saved need to be taught how to honour God’s design. From birth we have a conscience. The world is busy seeking to corrupt that conscience. A good, Bible-believing local church is essential to helping young people to develop right thinking. Godly parents are essential. Parents teach by word and by deed. The local church is God’s design to help with the important task of training children in the right way. Be sure to follow God’s way and thus avoid the dangers that the devil is scheming all the time.
Christians do not walk in the fear of the devil. They walk in the fear of the Lord and thus they avoid the wiles of the devil.
Pastor Bartel