Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
God made man to be a social being. There are a few people who live like hermits. They like to live alone and they really do not have much to do with others. The Bible has much to say about friends. Sometimes it warns of a friend who is not an actual friend. In our opening verse it talks of a friend as being one who loves at all times. A true friend is not a fair-weather friend. He is someone who sticks with you regardless of what happens.
It is important to have good friends. It is beneficial to have a real friend who can be there to look out for you.
God gave us a human picture of true friendship in David and Jonathan. Jonathan was the son of king Saul. Potentially he could be the next king. He came to understand he would not be the next king. He knew that David had been anointed to be the next king. His friendship with David was not due to his status. It was a friendship that was built due to their hearts being united to God. Jonathan was willing to risk his own life to be a true friend to David. David also demonstrated his friendship with Jonathan. They worked together to maintain a strong connection and they remained loyal to each other until death. Jonathan respected and honoured his father, but that did not prevent him from building that strong relationship with David. Respect and honour do not throw out sound reason.
In the same verse, God speaks of a brother. A brother is one who is there to help in time of trouble. Of course the greatest friend we could ever have is the Lord Jesus Christ. He is a friend that is with those who are saved regardless of what we face. Jesus also understands us better than we know ourselves. He intercedes to the Father for those who are saved.
We sometimes sing the hymn “What a Friend We Have In Jesus.” Jesus is not a fickle friend. He is a caring and loving friend. He tells us what we need to know in His Word. He also provides all the help we need to do what is right through the work of the Holy Spirit in the heart of every saved person. It is great to have that friendship.
As a pastor I have had individuals in my life who I thought were my friends. I spent much time with them and tried to help them to know the Lord better, which also including helping them in other practical ways. I have also found that some of those friends surprised me by turning against me at some point. They have not liked something I said or something I believe and they were not willing to see what God’s Word says and their animosity toward me grew to the place where things just fell apart.
Friends talk about things. They reason things out. They accept the truth as their authority. True friends do not compromise truth for the sake of a friendship. That kind of friendship is not worth anything.
In Proverbs 27:6 we read:
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
A true friend has Biblical convictions. Of course, because we are human, we can have a wrong conviction on something. That is where we need a true friend who is willing to speak the truth to us even if they know it will hurt. A true friend does not walk away from adversity. He considers what is being said and because he is a true friend, he also considers the source of what is said.
Again we see that Jesus is a Friend Who is not afraid to speak the truth. He had to openly rebuke Peter more than once. Peter accepted Jesus’ rebuke and he benefited from Jesus’ frank speaking to him. A friend wants to see another person whom he considers as his friend, to grow in the Lord. He wants to help his friend to walk faithfully with the Lord. When he sees his friend going the wrong way he is willing to say something to help his friend reconsider his course in life. A true friend will appreciate that in a true friend.
Judas was a friend who was not a real friend. He betrayed Jesus. He liked to be with Jesus. He was a thief and stole from the funds that were given to Jesus and the disciples. He lacked the understanding a friend needs to have. He betrayed Jesus and then when he realized he had sinned, he did not go to Jesus to be forgiven. He went to those who had no love for him at all. They scoffed at his concern and left him to go and destroy his life and kill himself.
Judas made a bad choice that cost him for all eternity. Proverbs 27:6 tells us that the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. There are people who will act like a friend, but they are not a true friend. God does not want us to be suspicious of everyone. He wants us to have our eyes open. He wants us to listen to what a person is saying and to what a person is doing. A true friend will be truthful with his words and with his actions.
Life is short and during the short time we have on this earth, we need to risk being a friend to others and seeking to help them to know God’s peace and blessing in their life. Those that hurt us for no good reason will face the same Jesus that we will face. He knows how to deal with each person in righteousness. We need to ask God to guide us in working at friendship with others. We also need to be sure we have the Lord Jesus Christ as our Friend. With Him as our Friend, we can weather any and every storm we face in this life.
Today is the Lord’s Day. It is another day to be able to go to a good church where you can be a friend to someone and where you can also receive the benefit of a true friend. Be sure you let God lead you to a good church that honours Him. If you are unsaved, you need the truth. Deception may feel good to the flesh, but it will not benefit your soul.
Don’t settle for one of the many social clubs that have some religious flavour to them. Choose a church that can actually help you to grow spiritually. Shallow religion is not going to help you through the many challenges of life. You need a church that will help you to be grounded in the truth and that will not be swayed by the pressures of the world. God is good and He will lead you to such a place if you will submit to Him.
Pastor Bartel
