I Corinthians 7:32  But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33  But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34  There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35  And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36  But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
37  Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
38  So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
39  The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
40  But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

There is a statistic out there that suggests that in New Jersey the average wedding cost is $55,000.00. The national average in the U.S. is $35,000.00. They suggest that in places like New York or San Francisco the average cost is $49,000.00 and $41,000.00. Places like Utah, Idaho and West Virginia apparently pay less, around $17,000.00 to $20,000.00.
We must understand that the world has no understanding of what a true marriage is about. The fact that people think they need to spend that kind of money for a wedding shows the trouble that married couples will face because they are so focussed on materialism.
A successful marriage is not based on how much money you spend. It is based on whether you as a couple truly know the God of Heaven and earth which includes trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ as your own personal Saviour and Lord. If you want to run your life, you will have problems. If you submit to God’s law, you will have God’s love to guide you through life. There are problems in life. The surrendered, saved person faces problems the lost know nothing about. Those problems can be navigated in Christ.
Persecution is hard on the human being. Persecution can cause worry, maybe not for the person directly, but for family associated with the person. God does not want us to worry. A godly husband should not worry, but he will have concerns for his wife and children. The unmarried person does not have those same concerns. He is freer to serve the Lord, knowing there will be those who will despise him because of what he says and what he stands for. There will be no wife or children to be subject to the effects of this persecution. The unmarried person can spend more time and energy concentrating on serving the Lord. That is simply a fact that God directed Paul to note.
In verse 33 we are reminded that the married man cares for the things of this world in relation to looking after the needs of his wife. The husband does not need to feel guilty for taking time to be with his wife and looking after her needs. This is part of his obligation to her since he married her.
In verse 34 God reminded us that there is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman is the virgin. She can give herself wholly to serving the Lord. She does not need to concern herself with meeting the needs of a man. The married woman needs to care about the things of this world in relation to meeting the needs of her husband.
Jesus reminded the Pharisees that in Heaven there is no marriage, and thus the things of this world are not there. There is a different relationship in Heaven.
In verse 35 Paul was directed to write that these things were for our profit. They are not designed to create a problem for us. God designed marriage in the first place. He stated that the woman was to be the help meet for the man. His design is for a man to marry a woman and to be fruitful and multiply. That was the command given to Adam and also to Noah. He has never changed that design. Not all married couples are able to have children. God opens the womb and He is in charge of fertility. Unsaved people often try to play God but that is never a wise choice.
Whether a couple is married or whether the man remains single and the woman remains single, the goal for God is that we not be distracted from serving the Lord in whatever calling we are in. Single people can become overly involved in the world and lose sight of their purpose, even if they are saved. Married couples can also be too involved in keeping up with the Joneses and lose sight of their purpose on earth.
In verse 36 God directed Paul to address the concern that a godly father would have for his unmarried daughter. In the light of the persecution that we face, the godly father might want to counsel his unmarried daughter not to marry. However, if she cannot be content to remain single, then he is not sinning in allowing his daughter to marry. We see here that the father has a responsibility to his unmarried daughter. God is not talking of arranged marriages. He is talking about the fact that the father should care enough about his unmarried daughter to want to make sure she marries a good, godly man if she is going to get married. As fathers we can help our daughters avoid grief down the road if we take our responsibilities seriously as we must.
In verse 37 we see that the person who is able to remain single is doing well. Jesus spoke of eunuchs that were eunuchs from birth. They had no desire for intimacy. They did not need the level of companionship that comes with marriage. As we noted before, God did not command that all people must marry.
In verse 38 Paul summarized the above teaching by stating that the father who gives his daughter in marriage does well, but the father who can see that his daughter does not need to marry, does better. A godly father does not put the desire for grandchildren ahead of the will of God. The father needs to be a godly man who can have that discernment. He needs to have shown his leadership throughout his daughter’s life so that she can trust his judgment.
In verse 39 we are reminded again that the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives. Again we are reminded that divorce is not God’s plan. He hates “putting away”. If her husband is dead, then she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord. Thus she is not free to marry a divorced man. She can marry another godly man if she believes that is God’s will for her. Of course we need to remember the context here is to saved people. Lost people live in rebellion anyway and they are led by their flesh. They need to get saved and know God’s peace.
In verse 40 God stated that the woman would be happier if she remained alone in such a case. Paul wrote that under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, just as all his writing.
Marriage is not something that anyone should take lightly. The preparation for marriage must also be taken seriously. This is why the “dating game” that society has adopted is foreign to the Word of God. Biblical courtship is the better way. It is a rare thing in our world, but if we study the Bible, we see that principle there. We need pastors today who will take the time to teach the whole counsel of God. In doing so, they will also teach the truth regarding marriage. They will also warn of the pitfalls that the devil would want us to fall into. They would also make it very clear that divorce is not God’s design. If there is a need to separate, the goal should always be to resolve the conflict and bring the marriage into a right standing with God. Remarriage is out of the question for those who separate. God will never lead a divorced man to marry another woman. God will never lead a divorced woman to marry another man. Those that do so, are acting in the flesh. They do not have the Lord’s blessing on what they are doing. Since that is true, no godly pastor should officiate for a remarriage under those circumstances. According to God’s Word, those in that position would be living in adultery. Thus it would be wrong for a godly pastor to accept those who have chosen to defy God, into membership in the local church.
As with any other sin, if the saved person acknowledges the sin and confesses it to God, he or she also wants to be forgiven and they want the sin to stop. As long as the “remarried” couple remains together they are living in adultery. The relationship is not of God and thus it must be stopped if the couple is saved.
The humanistic argument is that ‘then you are encouraging divorce’. No. God does not accept that relationship as marriage. The world accepts it as marriage but God does not. In Ezra 10 we read of priests who had married strange wives. Due to their repentance and desire to become obedient to the Lord, they needed to put away those wives. They were not told to marry other wives. They needed to deal with the sin they had already committed. They could be forgiven, but there are consequences to sin. We are reminded again of how important it is to be saved as a child and be taught the truth and be submissive to the truth. God gives us His Word so we can know how to live and be blessed. If we choose to ignore what He says, we will suffer the consequences of that disobedience.
From past experience I know there are people who strongly object to what I have written here. That is their choice. I am not the judge before whom they will stand. If they want to hold a different position, they need to be sure they can prove that position to be right in God’s sight. If they are saved, they will want that. If they are lost, that will not be a concern to them. I know there are many pastors who will cater to divorced and remarried couples. That does not make it right. Paul wrote this about saints:

II Corinthians 5:10  For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

If you are saved your concern should be that you are being obedient to God in all things. We need to seek Godly counsel in life. That is what Godly pastors are there for. Their preaching and teaching must be from God’s Word, keeping the context in mind. The Godly pastor does not develop his own theology or doctrine. He submits to God’s law. He needs to grow in his faith and serve God faithfully. He is accountable to God for his personal life, but also for the counsel he gives to others.
Pastor Bartel