I Peter 3:5  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6  Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
7  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Sometimes we as people need to change our plans. God is not like that. He had the plan for mankind all set before He ever created the world. He has carefully revealed that plan to man over the generations.
In our text, Peter was directed to point out that what God was teaching in the opening verses of chapter 3 was not anything new. Notice that Peter stated that holy women from the past had also done the same thing that God expects women to do now.
We can see that what God expects is very possible when a person is holy. That is the key. When I want to be my own boss, I will have problems. In our context, when a woman wants to be in charge of her life, she will have problems. There are many ways those problems will be revealed. It is always better to follow God’s way.
We see that Peter was directed to use the word “adorned” here. The Greek word translated as “adorned” means to “put in proper order”. God has a proper design for the woman. He has the proper order for the role of the woman in a marriage. We do not need to try to reinvent the wheel. We just need to go to God’s Word and follow what He has already declared. He shows us that when a woman follows His way, it works.
In verse 6 Peter took the reader back to the time of Abraham and Sara. Sara obeyed Abraham. She left her homeland and followed him to a new land. Abraham did not know anything about that land, nor did Sara. She needed to trust Abraham to lead her and protect her. God does not gloss over sin, but He is looking at the broad picture here. Sara called Abraham lord.
Some years ago I was doing some teaching on husband/wife relationships and a woman in the congregation spoke up when I read this verse. She stated that she would never call her husband, lord. She was not a member of our church. I do not know if she was even saved. She and her husband were attending our church, but it was obvious that she tried to run the house.
When a woman takes the Biblical position on her relationship to her husband, she does not miss out on anything. God knows what works. He does not try to short change man. He desires to bless man. He desires to help the woman to be all that He designed her to be. She cannot be that when she ignores His way and tries to blaze her own trail.
Peter went on to state that the women of his day were daughters of Sara as long as they did well. That is the continuing key. As long as a woman listens to what God says, God can pour out His blessings on her. If the woman wants to go her own way, then she will struggle and never get to where she wants to be.
God does not want women to be afraid. God does not want women to need to tip toe around anticipating trouble. He wants women to be able to live their lives with confidence. There is no need for any adverse surprises when a wife honours God, and walks in holiness with the Lord. There have been women who have argued that God’s way did not work for them. We need to be careful not to call God a liar. God knows what works and what does not work. Sara needed to wait until she was 90 years old before she would have a child. We do not know exactly how old she was when God first promised her a son. It was a number of years. She needed every moment of that time to learn the important lessons that God had in mind for her.
I recall when we were married and waiting for our first child. We had been married a couple of years and we had no child. We wanted children. We prayed and we sought advice from the doctors. Eventually God gave us our first child, a daughter. She did not come a day late. Looking back, I can see that God had some things we needed to learn before we would be ready to take responsibility for this precious gift that God was going to give us. God wants to bless every couple in His particular way. It is important to know Him and trust Him to guide and direct. His plan is always right.
In verse 7 Peter was directed to bring in one verse regarding the husband. This does not suggest the husband needs less teaching than the wife does. The first word in that verse is likewise. This ties what is coming to the previous verses. Husbands too, have responsibility before God. As we will see, the command to the husband is very important. Husbands need to be the leaders in the home. They need to love their wives as Jesus loves the church. Husbands need to provide for the home. They need to be directed by God. They are charged with the care of the wife and the children. This is a great responsibility that no man can succeed at on his own.
The man needs to be a God-fearing man. He needs to trust God and understand the importance of God’s Word in his life.
Peter tells us that the husband needs to live with his wife according to knowledge. Men and women are made different. Both are made by God. The woman was made with the rib of the man. Thus there are similarities between the two. Peter reminds us that the woman is the weaker vessel. A godly man needs to understand this. We cannot put the pressures of life upon our wives. We need to give honour to the wife as unto the weaker vessel. The word translated as “honour” speaks of “value”. The godly husband is not trying to crush his wife. He wants her around as long as God has determined. He does not want to be the cause of her facing undue suffering. A husband can put undue stress on his wife. He can demand more of her than she is capable of.
I grew up on a farm. I had a mother and three sisters. I also had three brothers. My mother was a hard working woman. My sisters also worked hard in the house and outside on the farm. My wife grew up in town. She was a town girl. I expected similar things from her that I saw in my mother and my sisters. I needed to learn that my wife was my wife. She was unique. I needed to learn what it was that God had given to me in her. My wife has been a blessing to me over the years.
Lord willing, we will have been married 50 years this coming February. It is amazing how God has worked in our lives to bring us to this place. There have been trials and challenges. There have been times when God has needed to spank me for my attitude toward my wife. I am thankful for His grace and mercy. He has blessed us and we are grateful for His many blessings to us.
We still have some things to learn. I remember when my mother died. My dad stated that he had hoped they would have a few more years yet. God knows the time, we do not. We need to learn to live each day according to His will, not ours.
Peter continued to warn the husband that if he did not honour his wife as he ought to, his prayers would be hindered. That is a very sober warning. How can I as a husband know how to live and guide my household, if God will not answer my prayers? I do not want to fumble around in the dark. I want to live life successfully. I want to be able to help my wife to be able to live her life successfully as well. Our children also need to be directed the right way. We need to set a godly example before them.
Peter stated that the husband and wife are heirs of the grace of life. The word translated as “grace” means “that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech.” That is what God provides for His obedient child, in Christ. When we, as husband and wife live according to God’s will we can know His blessing in ways that the world can never know. Every challenge we face in life can be approached in a way that brings blessing. God had this to say in Proverbs:

Proverbs 31:28  Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

That is possible when we walk humbly with the Lord. We do not need to live with regrets when God is in charge. We can face life with the confidence God wants us to have, knowing that He is leading and His leadership is always right.
Pastor Bartel