Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.
30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry;
31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house.
32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
33 A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.
God created the man and the woman to be fruitful and multiply. In order for that to happen, there needs to be intimacy between the man and the woman. Those that are married know there is an excitement involved with that intimacy. That is a good thing inside of a marriage. Outside of a marriage God says that is like a fire. It creates that excitement, but not within the bounds of marriage. It creates all kinds of problems. God says it will burn the person’s clothes. That is true of a natural fire. In regard to the intimacy, it will do great harm to the body and soul of the person who does not know how to control his emotions.
In verse 28 God used the illustration of hot coals. Hot coals are good for roasting a wiener or a hamburger. They are also good for heating a house. They are not designed for a person to walk on. Some pagan cultures try to walk on hot coals, but they do harm to their feet in doing so.
In verse 29 God says that is what it is like to go into a neighbour’s wife. Immorality is against God’s design for man. Cheating on the neighbour is evil. God has already talked about adultery. A good husband will want a pure wife. He does not want a run-around. A good wife wants a pure husband. They want a relationship that is built on trust and on purity. The son that wants to cheat his way into the life of a woman is guilty before God.
In verse 30 God used another illustration that we can understand. We can have some pity on a man who is hungry and steals a loaf of bread. In verse 31 we see that if this thief is found, he will be required to pay the theft back. It is always best to ask permission, rather than steal. The penalty for stealing, even if it is to satisfy hunger, is high.
In verse 32 God contrasts that to adultery. There have been hundreds of men and women who have been guilty of adultery. We need to remember here that God is addressing the son. There are women who love to lure in a man. We have already seen that in this chapter. However, the man needs to be a man. A man who allows a woman to wrap him around her little finger and falls for her “enticements” is not a man. He is a wuss who needs to grow a backbone.
The man that gets involved in adultery lacks understanding and is destroying his own soul. There are long lasting consequences to such a sin. The Bible teaches that a man who goes into a harlot becomes one flesh with her.
I Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
When intimacy takes place, there is an attachment that happens. This is intentional on God’s part. When He created man He declared:
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
There is a special bond that is formed that is designed by God. Those who reject God’s standard of purity, can testify to the trouble they have in their body, mind and heart due to their infidelity, if they are honest. They might be able to push that into the background, but that is the reality because that is how God designed it.
There is a need for clear teaching on these matters while the son is young. Verse 34 tells us that the husband of the wife will be jealous of his wife. That is his wife. He does not like that she is being defiled. He will be very angry at this whole matter. We know that as well. There are too many situations like that where the man becomes jealous and a fight breaks out or even a murder. God knows this is the natural response of a man who has had someone else defile his wife. The woman becomes the partner of the man she marries. She is still her own person, but she needs to be submissive to her husband.
Verse 35 tells us that husband that was offended will not accept a ransom. He will not be content with this breech of trust. You cannot buy off the defilement that happens in such a situation. We know that among Christians there needs to be a willingness to forgive. However, even if there is forgiveness, there is still the hurt of what has happened. There are consequences to sin. Breaking up a marriage is a very big thing. Marriage is a picture of Jesus’ relationship with true saints. When a person is saved, he or she becomes a permanent member of God’s family. God says a person that turns to Him in repentance and trusts in the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation has “everlasting life”. A truly saved person cannot lose their salvation.
God designed marriage to be a picture of that relationship. It is an interesting thing but when a couple commits themselves to knowing the Lord first of all, they can have a beautiful relationship for as long as they both live. There are even lost people who stay together with the person they chose in their youth. It is much sweeter when the couple knows the Lord.
God does not want people to go through life with regrets and deep hurts. Those who get involved in adultery will certainly have regrets and deep hurts. God says so. He warns about it. His answer to this is to know Him and be a wise son. A wise son would never yield to the strange woman. The strange woman will be very lonely if there is no man to chase after her. It can cause her to want to be saved and follow God’s way.
The male segment of society is supposed to be the leaders. We are supposed to know the Lord and show the blessing of following God’s way. Fathers and mothers need to take the time to know the Lord first of all and then of teaching their children to know the Lord. Being a part of a true local church is important in this needed work. God created man. He knows all about us. He knows what happened to man when he sinned. He knows every weakness of man. He also knows how to protect man against his own weaknesses. That way is only through knowing Him and submitting to Him. There are no shortcuts. Thousands have tried to figure out a shortcut but all have come up short. All have left scars that lasted a lifetime. A few repented toward God and got saved and found peace even though the scar was still there. That is the only hope. If you have made some foolish choices in the past, God is still ready to forgive the repentant sinner. You cannot find a big enough bandaid to fix the mess. You cannot find enough liquor to drown out the sorrow. You do not have enough money to pay for enough entertainment to try to dull the guilt. Turn to God and seek His forgiveness. He made man. He wrote the book on the need of man and the only way to meet that need.
Psalm 32:4 For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.
5 I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
Pastor Bartel